The Winter Tale & The Saree Tail

The Winter Tale

Winters are here. I didn’t came to know it from the weatherman but through the morning paper. It had a beautiful snow covered hillock and read – snowfall in the higher reaches of Shimla.

The story appeared true as I woke up coughing and sneezing but my cynical self needed to confirm it from a more credible source. So, I rang up my mother (she lives in a hamlet in the Kotgarh valley), she confirmed that indeed it snowed. Now that I had information from a credible and known source (unlike the secret and unknown sources of most major dailies), I set out to pull my woollies from the dark deep closets. I had taken care to fold them neatly and had liberally sprinkled the moth balls after the winters but I was disappointed to see my favorite pullover pecked at and gnawed at the most visible of the places. I winched in pain (why do they go for the favorite one?). The question went unanswered.

I avowed to add more of the moth balls post winter to have my revenge (this time the designer ones). I pulled out every piece of the woollies – the gloves, caps, muffler, pullover, sweater etc. and had a neat pile on the floor. Next customary step was to sun them. I opened the door to my balcony, there was no sun. I looked at the cloud covered gray sky, it added to my misery. I didn’t wince this time but flinched (also I let out a couple of choice words). I was left stranded with a heap of woollies on the floor and my favorite pullover was on top staring at me empathizing.

The Saree Tail

My blog has eluded the Google crawlers for the sixth day running (I have changed my tone from anti-Google to pro-Google, I feel Google is providing the blog to me free of cost and if I won’t stop my tirade against Google my blog might never see the light of the Google web search). I would blame it on the evil spirits who might have hijacked it and the Google crawlers are not able to locate it.

I decided to seek some professional help. My friend Anand claims that he know how to get sites search-able and also improve their search-ability (means keeping them on #1 in a search result). He had bragged to me about a month back and proudly displayed his blog on #1, it impressed me. I remembered him and asked him if he could help (I was hopeful he would). He let out a deep sigh and in a low tone broke the news that his blog was now at #2 and has been taken over by a saree web site (I wanted to burst into laughter but stopped short). I empathized with him and left him alone to figure how he would pull the saree (I mean the saree site) down.

catch it @ http://myblog-kamalsharma.blogspot.com/

What is the colour of your towel?

I couldn’t contain my excitement after posting My First Post. I have been advertising my blog all this week and I was able to make some of my friends (six to be precise/rest said they would later) force read my blog. They all were positive (who read the blog and also those who took a rain check) about my writing skills (or were they paying lip service in this dry winter while reaching for the lip balm).

Thanks for reading My First Post and leaving a comment and those who didn’t comment and are returning a big welcome to you all also. I am sure this one would interest you (looking forward for a comment).

I am still a little upset; the Google crawlers have clearly avoided my blog (or they might be too slow to find my smart blog). Google has left behind the Yahoo and MSN in the race of search engines but it appears that in this race it has even left many thousand like me stranded.

My friend Nidhi seems to be much smarter than Google crawlers. She was able to spot my house (actually a small crummy flat) in the narrow lanes using her common sense (and poor habits of most of us). I was take aback when she asked me, ‘what is the colour of you bath towel?’. Next moments I was in tizzy, I have never been asked such a personal question (thought once someone asked me how many times I visit the lavatory in a day). She insisted and pestered me for an answer (I was embarrassed). I have 3 towels (‘azure’, olive and peach) and the ‘azure’ coloured is a new one. I blurted ‘azure’. She didn’t know what ‘azure’ is and the next five minutes were spent explain what it looks like (I found it really difficult to describe it to her). We finally settled for a shade of blue which I now realise was not even close. ‘Ahh!’, she sighed. ‘I just missed you house. I was around the place where you live. I saw a blue towel hanging in one of the apartment’s balcony.’ She still couldn’t pronounce ‘azure’ but convinced me where I live. I nodded in agreement.

It was easy for her to spot my house when she didn’t had my address but what’s up with the Google crawlers. For them, I have an address and even a cute picture (actually someone finds it cute) put up for easy identification.

Could you please pass me some lip balm and by the way what is the colour of your towel?

catch it @ http://myblog-kamalsharma.blogspot.com/

My First Post

Whoever said, ‘its easy to write a blog’ should be sent to the gallows. It took me a bit (4 years) before I mustered courage (tonight) to put a decent post – I hope it turns out a decent one and if you do not like it visit again to read the next one (hopefully improved).

The thought of semi-encouraging comments posted by my generous friends asking me to check my grammar, the spellings, the content of the post has kept me off till tonight. But this trite thought had to be overcome so I devoured good 10-15 poorly written blogs to gain confidence and here I am. What if they still snicker?

With some help from Harsh (he reads my extraordinary stories and he likes them) and Google, I picked up the nattiest of the template, tweaked it a bit, threw some colours added some neat snazzy gadgets to attract the casual browser (I learned this selling art from my grandfather who while packing apples for the market ensure the best were laid out on the top).

As it took shape, I grew hungry – I wanted it to be indexed immediately in Google and be searched by millions. For a minute I even though of AdSense – it made sense to make money on hits.

I made umpteen attempts to search my blog in Google but the result was zilch. Harsh consoled me to keep heart and pray that the Google crawlers creep in all over my blog soon, until then I can keep posting my stuff (and suffer – he didn’t say that) with the though that not too many are suffering from the barrage of my semi-humorous posts (was he thinking aloud). This dashed the idea of AdSense, it didn’t make any sense. I would question him on the use of the word ‘semi-humorous’.

I think I have arrived.

Leave a comment if you like My First Post and if you didn’t, return to see some improvement. Thanks for reading. AFJ2FE6ME6P7

catch it @ http://myblog-kamalsharma.blogspot.com/